For The First Time
by AgentNoSmile
Summary: Haley's gone. Hotch misses her terribly but he's as stoic as always. But when he finally takes the time to look, he starts to see JJ in a whole new light. HOTCH's POV first JJ/Hotch fic. This is a gift for my friend Tara ,


I don't know how this happened. This time last year I lost my wife. I wasn't there in time. I failed. That bastard took her away from me. Left my son without a mother. I told myself that's it, no more trying. No more relationships. Nothing. And here I am, with an engagement ring in my hand.

After Haley died, I took some time away from the BAU, I needed to rebuild myself, and my son. He's young, so he doesn't understand as much about death as I do. I'm glad about that.

He always took a shine to JJ; even at his young age he has a good judgement of people around him. Even saying her name in my mind makes me smile. You know they all call me Agent No-Smile? I have Derek Morgan to thank for that one. I never had much of a reason to smile, until that night. The night I started to see Jennifer Jareau for what she really was; a saviour.

It was a late night at the BAU, and Spencer, Derek and Emily had stuck their heads around my door, one by one to bid me good night. Spencer, with his awkward demeanour, and a seventeenth century literary tome in his hand, Derek with Garcia, ready for a drink or seven, and Emily with a hurried goodbye so she could get back to her cat; Sergio. They could walk out of the office and leave it here; I had nothing to go home to, my son lives with my sister-in-law Jessica primarily, I get him on my days off; a rarity.

I carelessly dropped my pen down onto the desk and twisted my neck one way and the other to relieve the gnawing stiffness I found there. I stood up, leaving my paperwork cascaded across the oak wood desk and walked out into the mezzanine.

I shuffled over to the coffee machine to pour a cup of liquid mud; we need a new machine. I needed something, anything to stay awake. Little did I know the something I needed was only an office away.

I saw the petite figure of Jennifer Jareau sat at her desk; she looked beautiful even though she was completely frazzled. She was working through a pile of papers.

She picked up several files and opened the door to her office. I could already foretell that they were going to fall, yet I didn't move. Why? I don't have that answer. The papers scattered and I heard her mutter curses under her breath. I smiled softly and put down the coffee pot.

I bent down beside her and offered her some help. I picked up the scattered remnants and she smiled up at me through her tide of blonde hair. I felt that smile everywhere in my body. "Thanks Hotch," she said softly, a little sigh in her voice. "You look a little frazzled," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder and hoping I wasn't out of line. She smiled at me slowly, I saw her swallow softly and flip her blonde locks from her sapphire eyes. "Well, you know how this job is. I'm just delegating these files to everyone's desks and I'm outta here," she sighed in relief and I smiled. "Have a good night," I replied, a little disappointed she was going home. "Do you ever go home Hotch?" She smirked and proceeded to place files upon the desks of Emily, Derek and Spencer. I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly; "I have nothing to go home to," I caught her eyes and I saw the flash of pity. "Oh...I," she looked embarrassed. "It's okay, really JJ. I'm Agent No Smile, badass drill-sergeant," I laughed softly; "I distinctly remember you calling me a bully," I raised my eyebrow and she blushed; "I'm sorry about that, I just-" I interrupted her; "You don't have to explain. I know how I can be," I admitted. "Coffee before you go?" i asked hopefully. She thought about it for a second; "Make it rum and coke and you're on," she chuckled, her laugh like silver bells in the air. "I don't have any," I'm sure my face fell a little. She turned on her heel and walked back into her office, and re-emerged with a bottle of rum; "Lucky I do then huh?" She smirked and nodded towards my office. I followed her and swallowed thickly. It's like I was looking at her for the first time, and what I was seeing was just...exquisite.

I checked my watch and gasped when I saw that it was four AM, and here I was, drunk with my work colleague, in my office, at work. JJ looked at me, her eyes deep in that drunken haze, the lamp on my desk the only light in the room. "So Agent Hotchner," she giggled when she said my name; "What are we going to do now?" She looked at me before stumbling to her feet, and getting closer to me. Her perfume was flowery and delicate, just like her porcelain skin. "What do you mean?" I stammered, I didn't want to make a fool of myself, although I think that ship sailed a long time ago.

"There's clearly something between us. There always has been," she whispered this in my ear and I felt every nerve in my body stand on end;  
"Y-you think so?" I continued to stammer, I placed my hands on her hips and she bit her lip. God she looked so beautiful. She nodded;  
"Don't you?" Her voice was like molten gold in my ear and I answered her question only with a heated kiss. She yelped a tiny bit with the surprise of my actions before sliding herself onto my knee and running her hands up and down my chest. She leant me back in my office chair, her body felt so familiar, so right, and she pulled away from my kiss only to remove her blouse, her maroon bra with lace trim shaping her breasts perfectly.

That night we made love. Right there in my office, and when we were done, we scrambled to dress ourselves as Derek and Spencer walked through the mezzanine. We established a secret relationship from there. Secret dinners, hidden romantic walks, inconspicuous eye contact. It was seven months later we told the team. Much to my dismay, and surprise they already new. I asked them how and one word fell from all of their lips; 'Garcia' and I raised my eyebrow. Garcia looked at me all flustered, her eyes engaging only with the floor; "I'm sorry sir, I uh, you were, there's cameras in this office," my eyes widened a little. "Oh don't worry sir, I was checking the cameras for a breach in chain of conduct and, no one else saw the tapes, I uh destroyed them. I also told everyone. I'm, very sorry sir," she looked any minute like she was going to freak out. "It's quite alright Garcia, I respect you, and I'm sure you didn't watch the tapes in detail," I was more asking than stating. "No! No sir, I didn't only a minute, probably not even-" she whimpered and I smiled. "It's alright." I concluded. Our secret was out, and I felt good.

That was five months ago. Now I'm standing in the middle of the mezzanine, the woman I love is stood in front of me, and I have this engagement ring. The rest of the BAU are looking over curiously, my fault really for saying "Can I have everyone's attention?" and taking her hand. Well, there's no turning back now. Here we are, me, JJ, an engagement ring and my team. I clear my throat and take a deep breath. Here goes...


End file.
